Everyone needs friends but you need these 4 kinds of friend to see Jesus in the most trying times of your life. By seeing Jesus, I mean to have a revelation of His love, His kindness and His tremendous ability to deliver from all harm. Good friends help you see that you are not at the end of your rope even when things look gleam and difficult. We see the power of friendship in the story of the paralytic man who had to be let down by a rope to see Jesus (Matthew 9:1-8, Mark 2:1-12, Luke 5:17-26).
Summary of the Story: In this story, a paralytic man was carried on his bed to a house where Jesus was teaching. They could not get in through the door because the house was so full. So, these friends did the unimaginable. They carried their friend up the roof, made a hole in the roof, and let down their friend until he was right there at Jesus’ feet. Jesus saw their faith and healed the man. Wouldn’t you want tenacious friends like that in your corner when you are in a difficult situation? Now let me break down the personalities of those friends into 4 categories. I call them four types of friends you need.
You need these 4 types of friends
- The Pragmatic friend.
One of the friends had to call the situation for what it was. You need this kind of friend. This is the one who will say, “Hey we can’t get in through the door. The house is too full.” We don’t always like them but they are essential in our lives. This could be a friend, a pastor or a mentor. This is the one who will tell you – you can’t get a job with your current skillset, you can’t get a spouse with the way you comport yourself, you can’t run a business successfully the way you spend money. Most of us don’t like this kind of friend because their words can be harsh. But without the truth, we will keep trying to get in through the doors of a packed house. We will keep trying to fit a round peg through a square hole. We will not look for alternative solutions to the usual.
- The Encourager
One of the friends had to encourage them in spite of the fact that their first approach would not work. We all need this friend who will say, “There has to be another way.” This is the optimistic friend. They are the ones who offer hope. If all you had was the pragmatic friend you could be discouraged. The encourager doesn’t necessarily offer the solution but they keep you from sinking into despair. Hope is important. It helps you to see that a solution is possible. Even Abraham started with hope – Romans 4:18 “Who against hope in hope believed…”
- The Innovator
Everyone needs a friend who can come up with ideas. You need that one friend who will say, “We could go through the roof.” This friend will offer many innovative ideas. The ideas may not always be practical but out of all their crazy ideas, you can find one to use. This friend may have suggested, let’s go through the window, let’s break through the walls, let’s start a fire outside and when everyone runs out we will rush in and get to Jesus. And finally, he suggests, let us go through the roof. This friend may not know how we will do it but they are good with coming up with ideas, suggestions, options. You need to be patient with this friend.
- The Executor
The one who will say – Here is how we will do it. This friend will figure out the steps to making an idea, no matter how crazy it it, work. They make complicated things look simple. They break it into easy steps, baby steps that you can follow. They may not be original but they will make things work. They get into the trenches with you. They don’t talk over your head but they make it simple enough to understand. This friend says,
- “Okay, let’s get a string rope.”
- Two of us will get on the roof while two of you stay here.
- We will make a hole in the roof and then throw the rope down to you
- You will tie it around his bed and then lift him up
- While we are pulling from the top you are pushing from below
- And we keep doing that until we get him to the roof
- Then you both climb the roof yourselves
- Then we are going to take the rope and tie to all for corners
- And gently we will lower him all the way to the floor in front of Jesus
Characteristics of these 4 friends
- They need to believe in your vision
- They need to persist with you
- They need to believe in Jesus with you. With Him all things are possible
- They need to be willing to grow with you
Conclusion: Dear Pastor’s Wife, always make sure you are making the right friends. Invest time in surrounding yourself with people who can get you out of difficult times when you need them to. Friendship is not just for fair weather.
